You Can't Always Get What You Want
by Au revoir Amour
Summary: Sandy has some time to think about what she wanted, and what she got instead. Oneshot.


_Something I was thinking about after reading the book; why oh why wasn't Sandy in the movie? They should have at least given her one seen! _

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**You Can't Always Get What You Want**

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She'd spent nine months with the tiny life inside her. She'd grown attached to her little piece of Stuart. She still had trouble convincing herself that it was Stuart's baby... but that was the only sane conclusion. She and Sodapop had been careful, in the few times they'd been together. Stuart was more reckless, often getting drunk. He'd gotten her drunk, too, that one time. It was funny how they never talked about Soda anymore, but Stuart was always part of some conversation or other.

"They're a wonderful couple, for taking in the bas— baby," her grandmother said for the umpteenth time. _The bastard child_, Sandy knew were Marie's intended words. She'd only actually said it once before in front of Sandy, but she knew how her grandmother felt about the whole thing; how her parents felt about the whole thing. The baby was a bastard; her perfect, sweet, innocent, gently kicking, little bastard child.

"That boy was an idiot— Soda, was his name? How awful. His parents should be ashamed."

"No, Gran, the father's name is Stuart." No matter how many times she'd tried to get it across to people, they always forgot that the baby didn't belong to Sodapop. They'd been attached at the hip, her and Soda— so close for so long, that people just assumed. No one ever thought that _Stuart_ could have done anything wrong. Oh, _no_. Because Stuart was just that sweet little boy with the care-free grin that used to live down the street.

"Your old neighbour? Huh. I never would have thought it."

She had explained it over and over to her parents. It was just a big mistake; just _one_ time that she had been reckless. He had dragged her to an upper-class party at a Soc's house. She'd told Soda she was going out with her girlfriends, because he disliked her being around Stuart. But Stuart was one of her best friends, and had been for longer than Soda had known Steve Randle.

So she'd gone to this party; trusting that Stuart knew this Robert guy well enough to know that'd he'd throw a good bash. She'd never been to a party without Soda before, but she was willing to go because Stuart had convinced her it would be fun. Well, and because she felt rather smothered by Soda's constant attention; he loved her. She knew that. It was just so overwhelming sometimes!

They'd started drinking. Some truth-or-dare-like drinking game started it all, with shots of whisky watered-down with Kool-Aid. The rounds of beers Robert's friends had brought out next had been her tipping point; the rest of the night was just a drunken, dizzy blur after her fourth or fifth.

Stuart had been just as out of it as she had been. They ended up in a bedroom on the second floor of the house, and awoke to Robert shaking them and telling them to 'get out fast before my parent's wake up.' She'd been sore and felt ashamed, dirty, used and stupid. Stuart hadn't said a word to her about it. He'd barely spoken to her since. And then she'd found out she was pregnant, and the only sane conclusion was that the baby wasn't Soda's. The one time she'd gotten drunk, the one time she made a mistake... it changed her whole life.

"How long is it until you're due, again, Sandra? The Williams are patient people, but they already have everything ready for the baby..."

"Any time," Sandy said with a sigh, placing a hand on her very-swollen stomach. "I'm due any time now."

She was so scared. She had been prepared for this; taken courses, read books. But she had no idea what giving birth would be like, other than extremely painful. And after all that work, after carrying around the baby for nine months, after getting to know her baby's kicks and wiggles and hiccoughs... she would be handing him or her over to the Williams without looking back. It made her feel sick. She loved her baby. She wanted to keep her baby. If only Stuart felt the same way, then maybe they could have been a family, even if she didn't love Stuart in the way that she loved Sodapop Curtis. But he had readily gone along with her parent's idea of 'resolving' the issue; adoption. He'd signed all the papers, taking away all rights he had to the child, and had been done with it. She'd signed away her baby, too. The Williams would be getting the baby, no questions asked. They'd even get their names on his or her birth certificate. It wasn't _fair_.

She was sixteen years old. She'd never wanted to have children this early. And yet now, she wanted nothing else. Soda had wanted to marry her, even after she had admitted that there was very little chance— well, none— that the baby belonged to him. He still wanted her, even after he knew she'd been unfaithful to him. He wrote letters. Her parents sent them back, unopened. What that must have been like for him... she shivered. He must hate her now. The letters had stopped, at any rate.

"You should have thought about that before you got yourself pregnant," they told her, practically sneering at her misfortune.

Sandy hadn't wanted to be pregnant. She hadn't wanted to get married, yet, either. She hadn't wanted for her boyfriend to hate her, or for her best friend to desert her. She learned the hard way that you can't always get what you want.


End file.
